Random Rudeness and Other Unnecessary Behavior

Randomly Rude People news

2009-11-08T19:27:00.002-06:00

Cops: Man Bites Off Part of Girlfriend's Ear

A 40-year-old Brighton Park man has been charged with attempted murder and aggravated domestic battery for allegedly beating his girlfriend and biting off part of her ear.

Pa. mom, daughter admit stealing from girl, 9

BEDFORD, Pa. - In exchange for no jail time, a woman and her adult daughter have agreed to stand outside a Pennsylvania courthouse holding signs saying they stole a gift card from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday.

4 Charged In Beating Death of Honor Student

2009-09-28T21:54:00.005-05:00

A fourth teenager was charged early this evening with beating to death 16-year-old Derrion Albert, an "innocent bystander" who walked into the middle of a street fight between two groups of feuding teens last Thursday, according to prosecutors. (source)

Charges of first-degree murder were announced against Eugene Bailey, 18, hours after three other teens were charged in the slaying. Bailey is to appear in bond court Tuesday.

The others charged are Silvonus Shannon, 19, Eugene Riley, 18, and Eric Carson, 16, according to the Cook County state's attorney's office. All were charged as adults and all were ordered held without bond today.

Prosecutors said the fight -- with teens punching and kicking and swinging two-by-fours -- was related to a shooting outside Fenger earlier Thursday.

At the teens' bond hearing this afternoon, a Cook County prosecutor said Albert was beaten by teens from both sides of the simmering rivalry. One group of Fenger students lived near the school and the other is from the Altgeld Gardens housing development.

Carson, who was allegedly from the faction near Fenger, was the first to hit Albert with a railroad tie, according to Assistant State's Atty. Jodi Peterson.

As Albert struggled to stand up and escape the melee, Riley also hit him with a railroad tie and Shannon repeatedly stomped on his head, the prosecutor said. Both Riley and Shannon allegedly belonged to a separate faction that lived in or near Altgeld Gardens.

Records showed Carson is on probation for a robbery conviction. Shannon and Riley have no criminal records. (source)

This story is sad on so many levels. It makes me wonder whether the tragedy would have been overlooked by the media if not for the titilating video footage. The advantage of everyone having camera and video phones is that they can help police to make arrests. In this case, the video will hopefully lead to strong cases against everyone involved.

Randomly Bad Parenting Practices

2009-09-28T21:33:00.006-05:00

I'm all for strict parenting when it's warranted, but some people go a little too far...and some people are just plain crazy.

An Oklahoma woman reportedly kept her son locked in a closet for most of the past 4 1/2 years, the 14-year-old boy told police. The boy was malnourished and covered with head-t-toe scars when he allegedly escaped his abusive home. (source)

His 37-year-old mother, Lashonda Marie McCall, and a friend, Steve Vern, 38, were arrested on 20 complaints of child abuse and child neglect. The boy told police alcohol had been poured on his stomach and torso and ignited. He also had been beaten with a extension cord and choked. He hadn't gone to school in 4 1/2 years and spent most of his time locked in a closet. Six other children in the house didn't show signs of abuse. This case is under investigation.

If this is true, I hope both of them receive the maximum sentence.

Random Sister Wars

2009-04-18T11:47:00.007-05:00

Here's the thing. I love my big sister. She's a sweetheart. I'd cut somebody for messing with my sister. But right now, I feel like putting her in a headlock.

See, unlike me, my sister is very sensitive. She also holds a grudge until the death. Unfortunately after about 30 years of sisterhood bliss I have managed to, according to my mother, hurt my sister's feelings by being "harsh". Sigh.

Here's what happened. The day after I'd spent the entire day writing at work, my sister, who is in her last semester in college for Forensic Science (Yay!), called to ask me to help her with a college paper. She'd heard that I was driving to Detroit the next day (5 hours) to drop off my daughter, who was staying for Spring break with my folks. (I know it was rude of me to make my daughter spend Spring break in Detroit but stop judging!)

So,on the one day that I planned to squeeze in a quick visit with family before driving back home, my sister wanted me to spend several hours working on her paper. I laughed and politely said "Girl, I'm not coming to Detroit to do a paper." Sure, my overhead bubble was saying, "Are you freakin' kidding me?" but I was careful to keep that tone out of my voice. I must not have been as successful as I thought because, low and behold, her feelings got hurt.

Now, if she wasn't my sister I would say, "Get over it, you big baby" and be done with her. But she's my sister and again I love her. So, I tried calling her to clear the air. No answer. Five calls later, still no answer. So apparently, she's not speaking to me. Great!

I know my sister. She still be mad 20 years from now if I don't find a way to make up with her. The only problem is, now I'm mad. Because seriously, she can not be mad at me over how I choose to spend my time - not after I've helped her with papers for years. Even if my tone was a little...unfiltered. Seriously, a writer on vacation only wants to write for fun. That does not include writing a term paper in any way shape or form. Would she ask her gynecologist for a pap smear on the golf course? I hope not.

Fortunately for my sister, I don't hold grudges. I've tried. Can't do it. So, eventually I'll try to make up with her again. Maybe this time I'll try email.

RANDOM IGNORANCE: Hate Incidents On The Rise

2008-11-23T18:26:00.008-06:00

The Chicago Tribune recently reported a rise in hate incidents in the weeks since Barack Obama's election as the first black president of the US. White supremacists have been whipped into a tizzy burning crosses, spray painting racist graffiti, starting assassination pools and creating effigies of Barack in dozens towns across the country.

More than 200 incidents have been reported over the past few weeks. Racist Web sites are boasting that their servers are crashing under the weight of increases in page views. Even the Ku Klux Klan is trying to make a come back. (source)

People's capacity for ignorance never ceases to amaze me. When will white extremists realize that their ideas are outdated? Don't they realize that they are outnumbered? Did they not have televisions in the militia bunkers to see this country coming together to give everyone a shot at something better? The Ku Klux Klan must know that they face a totally different America than they did in the past.

My fiance said over and over again during the election that it is a shame that some people would rather vote for a sponge than vote for Barack Obama just because he is black. They would rather watch our economy continue to crash and burn, watch jobs continue to dry up and companies continue to go under than to watch a black man move into the White House.

Well, as it turned out those misguided, misinformed people did not matter on Nov. 4. The rest of us who have some common sense won. Barack Obama won. Unity won. And the long sordid history of racism, hatred and intolerance in this country lost.

Michelle Obama caught flack for saying this some months ago but I share her sentiment. I have never been more proud of my country than I am right now. And these foolish people who will not let go of their ignorant, racist ideas can't take that from me.

They are outnumbered - not just in terms of a more diverse population but - by people of all races even of their own who realize that we are all more alike than we are different. They are outnumbered by people who refuse to live in the past. Those of us who believe in a country that is no longer divided, angry or ashamed collectively cancel out their combined ignorance.

The key is to not buckle under their hate. We must not give their hate the fuel it needs to survive - fear. We must join together and put these idiots on notice. Irrational hate will no longer be tolerated. We will not be intimidated, bullied or terrorized by stupidity. Tolerance wins and we are not afraid!

My Own Rude Behavior

2008-10-06T19:57:00.003-05:00

Talk about rude. I broke the cardinal rule of blogging. I haven't posted since Sept. 17th. My birthday. I have no one to blame but myself and my brand new, squeaky clean job!

I must admit returning to work after several months off is sweet. I am thrilled with my new position and the company is great. But I feel bad about neglecting the thing that helped me keep my sanity through my dance with layoff-induced unemployment - this blog.

Since starting this blog, I had picked up a few loyal readers, some subscribers and made a little money. Not enough to survive off of but a little. I had spent a lot of time learning and researching the blogging community and found some great bloggers and fabulous bloggers. It served as my mental respite in between freelance writing and sending out resumes.

Now that I am back to work and adjusting well to full-time employment, the commute and balancing motherhood, I am returning to blogging.

I have decided to keep it going. No - I won't be posting every day, but I will be blogging as often as I can without neglecting my child, my job, my household and my fiance'.

Oh yeah, the same week I started my new job, my boyfriend also proposed! Talk about an exciting week. So, I have to plan a wedding on top of everything. But, who am I kidding- I've been mentally planning it since the day we met. Shhhhh. Don't tell him that.

Anyway, I glad to be back. I apologize to those who have stopped by in my absence to find stale posts. I promise. I'll never neglect you again.

Afterall, that's just rude!

Randomly Ridiculous News I Almost Missed: Shock Jock Auctions Woman’s Virginity

2008-09-09T17:02:00.006-05:00

For once, I don't blame Howard Stern. I blame this bucket-head girl. Howard is always going to be Howard doing the most vile and crazy things for ratings – no matter what the medium. The blame for this ridiculous behavior falls squarely on the head of the future tramp who is setting women back about 1,000 years.

The 22-year-old brunette, who used the pseudonym of NATALIE DYLAN “for safety reasons,” says the money from auctioning off her virginity on Stern’s Sirius radio show will pay for her college tuition. What is she majoring in? Morally-Retarded-Slut-onomy, I suppose.

The girl was reportedly introduced to the self-proclaimed King of All Media by the owner of a brothel in Nevada. Nevada is one of two US States where prostitution is legal.
The winner of the auction will get to consummate the relationship at the brothel, where the goofy girl's sister already works. Nice role model, Sis!
The future trollop says: “I don't have a moral dilemma with it. We live in a capitalist society. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity?”
So, she has no "moral dilemma" with going on the radio for a chance to be deflowered by a random stranger? Well, that makes sense. You can't have a moral dilemma if you don't have morals, can you?

She also says her mother - a “conservative” fourth-grade teacher - doesn't approve of the auction “but supports me” and she is prepared for the adverse publicity that the stunt will attract. My guess is mom is taking her cut off the top.

In case anyone doubts her daughter’s virginity, (which of course I do) “Natalie” is willing to submit to a polygraph test and a gynecological exam.
She should submit to a brain scan too! Ridiculous.
The girl, who already has a bachelor's degree in women's studies at Sacramento State, wants to study for a master’s in marriage and family therapy. (I can see people now flocking to her practice with their young daughters for some family counseling. Good luck with that!)
“I understand some people may condemn me,” she admits. “But I think this is empowering. I'm using what I have to better myself.” (source)

Am I being a prude or is anyone else dumbfounded by this dumb girl?

Bad Husband Behavior: Jerry Connell Kisses 'Huge' Ass

2008-09-08T18:50:00.004-05:00

Jerry O'Connoll, an obvious amatuer at matrimony, made the collosal mistake of calling his pregnant wife, Rebecca Romijn "huge". Not even in the privacy of their own home, but on national telelvision while promoting his new sitcom, Do Not Disturb. Romijn, who apparently has to step up her husband training skills, is carryng the couple's twin girls.

Jerry was back in the media apologizing for his foolishness.

"I regret calling my wife 'huge' on Conan OBrien,"
O'Connell tells PEOPLE. "I meant to say that there are specific areas of my wife
that are larger than normal and growing every day. All other portions of my wife
are quite petite. I apologize to her and will be coming home with flowers."
(source)

I haven't done any research but I'm sure husbands have been burned in bed for less. I think a "huge" diamond is in order. Ask Kobe Bryant for the number to his jeweler, Jerry.

Seriously Random Crime News: Man Busted Trying To Sell 13 Tons Of Frozen Pizza

2008-09-08T14:27:00.005-05:00

I understand that times are hard out here and everyone is trying to get some dough, but seriously...

The Associated Press is reporting that Anthony Herbert Lee, 38, of Hammond, was arrested Saturday for trying to sell 26,652 pounds of stolen pizza worth more than $45,000.

A company had contracted with Lee to pick up 3,000 cases of Stouffer's frozen pizzas from Nation Pizza in Schaumburg, Ill., on Aug. 31 and deliver them to Springville, Utah. Lee's refrigerated truck had trouble. Realizing that he would miss the delivery date, Lee decided to broker his own deal to unload the pizzas. He contacted a salvage company, but they became suspicious and contacted authorities. Police set up a sting operation and nabbed Lee, who also was wanted on a 10-year-old larceny warrant. Nestle Corp., Stouffer's parent company, recovered the stolen pies.

I appreciate the hustle as much as the next person, but let's be smart people. He probably could have moved those suckers in the 'hood with no problem. I'm just saying...

Someone Please Help This Woman!

2008-09-05T13:00:00.005-05:00

Everyone seems content to just sit back and watch Amy Winehouse deteriorate. It's sad that she seems to get worse and worse before the eyes of the world. Is there anyone out there who would rather help this woman than laugh at her death spiral?

Recent Amy news:

AMY WINEHOUSE - WINEHOUSE SHOCKS U.K. FESTIVAL BOSSES WITH BOOZE DEMANDS

AMY WINEHOUSE has sparked new fears for her health after ordering 48 bottles of whiskey as part of her backstage demands for a U.K. festival appearance, according to British tabloid reports.

PARIS FESTIVAL OFFERS REFUNDS AFTER AMY WINEHOUSE NO-SHOW

Attendees of a Parisian music festival are to be offered discounts after Amy Winehouse pulled out hours before she was due on stage.

If you were a family member of Amy's what would you do?

Ridiculously Bad Behavior Poster Child

2008-08-27T18:44:00.003-05:00

This is rude on every possible level! Thanks, Steven ( http://www.stevenhumour.com/)

Short Takes: Random Celebrities Behaving Badly

2008-08-27T17:27:00.004-05:00

'Suge' Knight arrested in Vegas drug, assault case

LAS VEGAS - Rap music mogul Marion "Suge" Knight was jailed Wednesday on assault and drug charges after he was accused of beating his girlfriend while brandishing a knife, police said. How come this doesn't surprise me?(read story)

Mackenzie Phillips Collared for Drugs

Los Angeles (E! Online) - Mackenzie Phillips, former TV star, whose role on the hit CBS sitcom was derailed in the early '80s due to a nasty drug habit, was collared this morning at Los Angeles International Airport after allegedly trying to bring heroin and cocaine aboard an airliner. This is bad and sad. So, I will resist the urge to place a "One Day At A Time" joke here. (read story)

Raspy Neil Diamond disappoints Ohio concertgoers

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Disappointed Neil Diamond fans will get a refund after attending a concert at Ohio State University in which the 67-year-old singer's voice sounded raspy. Come on, people, he's like 100. Give him a break! (read more)

The Unspoken Fear Of Black America

2008-08-26T15:44:00.006-05:00

Reuters photo

For months since Barack Obama all but sealed the Democratic nomination for President, African-Americans wouldn't even discuss the fear. Bring it up and they quickly changed the subject.

Yesterday, however, the fear that Barack Obama's journey toward the White House could be derailed by violence inescapably bubbled to the surface. As news reports broke about the three men suspected of concocting a sinister plan to assassinate our arbiter of hope, black people across America were forced to face the suppressed trepidation that had silently tempered their hope.

Thanks to Tharin Gartrell, Nathan Johnson and Shawn Adolf, we can no longer ignore it. Their faces resemble those that have haunted the nightmares of black men for decades. They represent the faces of prejudice, ignorance and irrational hate. They symbolize the type of hate that induces men to head toward Denver with a stockpile of stolen guns and drugs allegedly on a mission to kill. Their suspected link to a white-supremacist group and lengthy criminal records come as no surprise.

As black people we know for sure that if there are three, there are more who wish ill upon the man who would be our first African-American president. There are thousands who, because of deep-seated intolerance, would rather elect a Christmas goose than a black man calling for change; and there are countless lost souls willing to kill and/or die to keep Obama's victory from happening. Our fear – no longer deniable – is warranted and real.

I hesitated to even blog about it, because I would much prefer to keep banishing all bone-chilling thoughts that there might be attempts on the presidential candidate's life to the background of my daily mental chatter.

I take solace in being sure that the best security money can by surrounds Obama. Every possible threat - both publicized and unpublicized - is curtailed quickly, I tell myself. I'm certain all I's have been dotted and all T's crossed for his historic acceptance speech Thursday at the open-air stadium, Invesco Field at Mile High. (Whose decision was that again?)

I keep these assurances at the forefront of my mind because anything else for me is unthinkable. I was not old enough to mourn first hand the loss of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or witness the riots that followed his murder. I was not yet born when someone did or did not hide in a grassy knoll to assassinate John F. Kennedy.

Our nation recovered after those tragedies. If America lost Obama -its most tangible chance for hope and recovery- I question whether the resulting rupture the fabric of this country could ever be repaired. That may be our biggest fear of all.

Related stories:

Report: Suspect confessed to Obama plot - Denver Post

Armed men were no threat to Obama: U.S. attorney - Yahoo News - Reuters

No evidence of plot to kill Obama: justice official - AFP

Should Gang Bangers Be Whipped?

2008-08-21T10:20:00.006-05:00

I'm back from a short break just in time to open up a "can" on the topic of school-sanctioned beat-downs. I had no idea kids were still being spanked in schools. Apparently rowdy pupils a getting their tushes tapped on a regular in the south. There's one major problem with this southern-fried corporal punishment policy.

A quarter of a million schoolchildren got (spanked) in 2007 — and black children, American Indians and kids with disabilities got a disproportionate share of the punishment, according to a study by a human rights group. (source)

Minorities are being whipped more than anyone in the south? Well, surprise! Surprise!

I grew up in the era of paddling in the Detroit school system. My class clown tendencies often overpowered the chronic rule following nature engrained in most cop kids. So, I managed to get a few paddlings in my day. I still remember the worst of them - the one in front of multiple classes during gym period. Mr. Barnes had a thick round paddle with holes in it that created a suction effect on your butt cheeks with each stroke. The loud boom echoed throughout the gym and reverberated down to my toes. The humiliation lasted much longer than the sting.

Before I had a child, I probably would have been one of those people who say, “There’s nothing wrong with corporal punishment in schools. I went through it and I turned out alright.” I remember the young American who was caned in Singapore some years ago for going over there and spray painting graffiti or something. Americans went nuts. When I found out that Singapore has like a zero crime rate, my thoughts were that caning might be the answer to our little gang problem here in the states.

Now, the thought of some random teacher dragging my daughter to the front of the class, bending her over and pounding on her little behind is unacceptable to me. Teaching is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Teachers are underpaid, underappreciated and stressed out. I personally don’t want anyone at the end of his or her rope from being hounded by bill collectors wailing away on my baby girl.

Further, there is no way to regulate or standardize the level of punishment. Of course, my gym teacher hit way harder than my science teacher, Ms. Williams, who was missing a middle finger. Some teachers in my day paddled kids for every giggle while others never paddled at all, making the school day even more of an emotional rollercoaster.

The reported racial disparity in the way punishment is doled out in southern schools illuminates a more serious problem. There is no way you can convince me that minorities and little boys need more whippings than anybody else. That plays into all sorts of dangerous stereotypes. These types of disparities can’t be rationalized or prevented under the current system. Most states, including Michigan and my current home state Illinois, wisely dropped the policy years ago.

My view is that corporal punishment should be the decision of the parent and taken care of at home. It should be administered, if at all, by the people who love these children unconditionally.

I still stand behind the caning for gang members idea though.

Adulterous Tendencies Matter: Would He Trade The Country For A Harem?

2008-08-13T11:03:00.011-05:00

The Associated Press reported today on the impact of Edward's affair on his political future. The prognosis for recovery looks grave.

"No one in the Democratic Party would want to be publicly associated with him,"
said Merle Black, a political science professor at Emory University in Atlanta.
"Edwards is really damaged goods at this point." (source)

A friend and I had a heated debate over the weekend about the John Edwards, Kwame Kilpatrick, Bill Clinton, that Down-low former New Jersey governor, and (insert all other high-profile adulterers you can think of here) adultery scandals. We had a difference of opinion about how much of a political figure's personal life is really our business.

My friend could not understand why what a man does in the bedroom should affect his job, especially if it doesn't affect his job performance. He pointed out that if a politician is doing great things for the city, state or country, why should it matter that he has a chick on the side? Shouldn't he get credit for all the good he does? After all, Edward's reportedly has been a strong advocate for the poor. Isn't the affair between him and his wife, who says she knew and forgave him? (Yeah, they all say that in front of the cameras.)

For me, the bottom line is trust. I'd like to be able to trust my elected officials to do the right thing. Adultery, in any form, is a sign of weakness. It shows that a person is not able or willing to use sound judgment in the face of temptation.

These are people who stood before God and vowed to be faithful to their wives and families. If he can't do the right thing by his own wife and family, how can I expect him to have my best interest and the best interests of my family - people he has never met - at the forefront of his decision making? How can we be sure that when they stand on inauguration day, place their hands on the Bible and swear to do the right thing that - like on their wedding day - they are not telling a big, fat lie? How do we know that they won't go over to some foreign country and sell out America for a harem of virgins and a six pack of beer?

In most cases, I'm all for people keeping their dirty laundry to themselves. It is humanly impossible for me to care less about who the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker are sneaking around with. However, when your lust-and-stupidity-driven decision-making skills are crucial to the lives and livelihoods of hundreds, thousands or millions of people, including my family, it's my business.

I don't want to end up in poverty or at war because some idiot wanted to impress his mistress.

Random Words To Live By

2008-08-11T22:05:00.005-05:00

Sure I spend a lot of time wagging my finger at bad behavior on this blog. But there is much more to me than sitting back and judging people every day. I can be quite positive and deep when I want to. Also, I think it's unfair to harp on people behaving badly without also offering positive information to help people do better.

So, I wanted to share a post recently published by Gurushabad, whose blog often focuses on the positive side of human nature. The Native American Code of Ethics originally appeared in the "Inter-Tribal Times," October, 1994. I think they were definitely on to something about the way we should treat each other. I hope this reaches someone who needs it today.

Native American Code of Ethics
1. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.

2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path. Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy and greed stem from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.

3. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

4. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

5. Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a community, the wilderness or from a culture. It was not earned nor given. It is not yours.

6. Respect all things that are placed upon this earth - whether it be people or plant.

7. Honor other people's thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them. Allow each person the right to personal expression.

8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.

9. All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.

10. Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit. Practice optimism.

11. Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us. They are part of your worldly family.

12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life's lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow.

13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.

14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of ones will within this universe.

15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual self, Emotional self, and Physical self - all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body to strengthen the mind. Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

16. Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you will react. Be responsible for your own actions.

17. Respect the privacy and personal space of others. Do not touch the personal property of others - especially sacred and religious objects. This is forbidden.

18. Be true to yourself first. You cannot nurture and help others if you cannot nurture and help yourself first.

19. Respect others religious beliefs. Do not force your belief on others.

20. Share your good fortune with others. Participate in charity.

If you have any positive tips for living, please feel free to share them!

Another Case of Adultery Road Kill

2008-08-11T11:41:00.006-05:00

Another high-profile man has let lust torpedo a perfectly good career. Choirboy-faced, former presidential candidate John Edwards is the latest roadkill to be squished on the adultery highway.

These stories are not even surprising anymore. What amazes me is that there are public officials, celebrities and other high-profile people who can still delude themselves into believing that they won't get caught. They continue to fix their shifty eyes on the closest cameras and proclaim innocence like they are made of Teflon or had sex with the invisible woman.

I guess being a super successful person must come with some built-in level of arrogance. They all seem to believe that they are so much cleverer than the last casualty of lust and that they can have sordid affairs that no one will ever know about. They seem to be oblivious to the fact that no relationship happens in a vacuum. There is always someone who sees something. Also, once the romance cools, old lovers' lips seem to get as loose as their morals and the blab fest begins.

Knowing the level of scrutiny that high-profile people -especially someone running for the top office in our nation - garner in this day and age, how could Edwards have believed for one second that this skeleton wasn't going to come tumbling out of the closet? Did he learn nothing from Bill Clinton? Has he not caught wind of the text message mayhem in Detroit? Anyone running for office on any level these days should know that having a paparazzi colonoscopy is part of the interview process.

Look, there is no way I would run for public office. I'm sure my past is pretty low key compared to most, but there was this little stretch of craziness in my 20s that, frankly, I don't want to see in any headlines. I know better that to invite close scrutiny. Others seem to be in a fairytale state of denial.

I'm sure Edwards is looking back on that affair today and seeing that it was not worth all of the damage it has caused to his reputation, his chances of being Obama's running mate and, most importantly, to his family. On the other hand, this is America. He and his wife will probably get multi-million book deals out of it and be fine.

Random Idiocy: Detroit Mayor Kwame Making Defending Hometown Difficult

2008-08-07T10:19:00.009-05:00

by Cave Canem at Flickr

A judge ordered scandal-plagued Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick to jail today for violating the terms of his bond. If you aren't familiar with this story, Kilpatrick and his former Chief of Staff were indicted recently for a bevy of charges after they allegedly lied under oath about having an affair and firing a police official. It's a long sordid story. You can find more details about the whole hot mess here.

Suffice it to say, Kilpatrick and his boo have been accused of all kinds of shenanigans over the past few years. Apparently still believing himself to be above the law, Kilpatrick took a forbidden trip to Canada last month even though he was prohibited from leaving the state.

Sigh! For nearly 20 years living in the Chicago area, I have remained a staunch defender of my Detroit hometown. Sure, it's has always been little rough around the edges and I must admit that memories of my happy childhood there may have clouded my view of the burned out buildings and aging infrastructure. Still, anytime anyone spoke ill of my native city, I would quickly remind them that Detroit was the birthplace of the Motown sound and Madonna. Depending on who I was talking to, I also mentioned Eminem.

I could always boast about the thriving auto industry that employed many of my family members and friends. I remember fondly the bragging rights I had living in Chicago back when the Detroit Pistons dominated the NBA. That was before Michael Jordan put an end to their reign. Those were truly good times for the city and those of us with roots there.

Since Kwame took office, however, it has become increasingly more difficult to defend the Motor City. I had been hopeful that the influx of casinos would provide the needed revenue to turn the city around. Yet the ragged neighborhoods indicate that the gaming revenues must have evaporated into thin air or hidden pockets. Perhaps the city council has been too busy bickering and the mayor too busy sending freaky text messages (allegedly, of course) to use it to do what was best for the city. The negative attention generated by both has been a definite blow to the city's already troubled image.

Hopefully, Kwame's arrest today will be the catalyst the Michigan governor needs to use her power to remove him from office. My prayer is that the next mayor has more common sense, less arrogance and strong viable plans to dig the city out of the mires of this scandal and give us Detroit natives something to brag about again.

Random Rumble: If I Had A Nickel For Every Fight Caused By The N Word...

2008-08-05T14:10:00.006-05:00

As expected, the Internet Universe has brought forth video footage connected to the violent battle between the families of former “America’s Next Top Model” contestant Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky of “Hairspray” fame at a Caribbean airport last week!

Now, MSNBC.com is reporting racial slurs may have ignited the fight. That figures! One side says it was the infamous “N word” and the other said someone was called a “white B-----.”

Since the brawl was reported last week, I have been waiting for someone who was fast with a camera phone at the airport to come forward with footage. And here it is, well the aftermath anyway, thanks to theundergroundcity.com. link to video (This is not funny but the people doing commentary during the video crack me up.)

Bianca, Nikki and Nikki's dad, Carl, were reportedly taken into custody at the Caribbean islands’ airport and charged after their families allegedly came to blows. The brawl reportedly started in the departure lounge at the Providenciales International Airport after Nikki's crew attempted to save five seats and Bianca’s family had nowhere to sit.

According to Usmagazine.com and TMZ, Nikki reportedly ended up in a neck brace and her dad jailed. Others also reportedly joined the fight. The reports claim Bianca's mom received srious head injuries and had to be flown to Miami, Fla., to receive medical care.

I remember Bianca's confrontational ways as the feisty and fierce wanna-be top model on cycle 9. I also remember Nikki's saccharine portrayal of the sassy, militant wanna-be dancing queen in "Hairspray." The whole thing had to be visually ridiculous. I had envisioned Carl jumping in to free his buxom daughter’s neck from a headlock administered by Bianca’s emaciated arm and ending up with acrylic fingernails knuckle deep in his forehead. Perhaps someone whipped out the N word and that’s when all hell broke loose.

But that’s just my speculation. I'm sure it will all be sorted out in court. According to reports, Bianca has been charged with assault; Nikki with actual bodily harm and Carl is charged with grievous bodily harm.

This whole incident raises a few questions. Why in the world would all of these grown people be fighting over seats? Seat Savers are annoying but, seriously, were they worth potential jail time? This whole thing is ridiculous and sad with the potential to get worse for all of them.

Follow these links to the details:

Racial slurs may have led to Blonsky brawl - MSNBC

Blonksy Arrested in Airport Brawl - Daily Dish

His & Hers Arrests for Nikki Blonsky, Dad - E Online

Video: Bianca Golden Nikki Blonsky Airport Brawl Aftermath Turks & Caicos - popcrunch.com

Random Bad Mother Poster Child of the Week

2008-08-03T18:32:00.005-05:00

There is no one on earth at this point who doesn't realize that leaving a baby in a car on a hot day is just plain ignorant. I guess everyone except a Detroit woman who was arrested Saturday after two passersby had to break into her car to rescue her screaming, sweating infant from a carseat. The Mother Of The Year candidate had taken her two other offspring with her into a beauty supply store and left the baby behind.

Mind you, looking at this footage of her arrest, I could see that mommy dearest was in desparate need of a touch-up on her home perm and a deep conditioner. That is no reason to almost kill your baby by leaving it in a roasting car on an 80-plus degree day.

Once again, you should never ever leave a baby, small children or pets in cars. On an 80 degree day, a car becomes like an oven within minutes. Any adult who has sat in a hot car knows that.

Kudos to the baby's rescuers for calling the police and for keeping this story from becoming a real tragedy. This mother should be grateful for their willingness to get involved or she could have been charged with much more than neglect. She could be charged with murder. (view video here)

Random Reality: Would You Put Your Family on Reality Television?

2008-08-01T14:17:00.010-05:00

I stumbled across a poll on U.S. Weekly.com that asked people if they would put their family on a reality television show. Since most of my adult life has been spent guiltily addicted to the genre, I decided to play along. I thought intently for a moment or two before giving my honest answer- YES!

When I hit submit, I was shocked by the results tallied so far. More than 90 percent of respondents lied - I mean - answered No! Just a little over 9 percent answered yes.

Now, either Usweekly.com has a more highbrow readership than I assumed, a majority of people are really shamed of their family members, or those people are lying through their self-righteous teeth. Am I the only one who is willing to admit that under the right circumstances I would be living with a camera crew crammed into my little condo getting all up in my business?

Don't get me wrong, you wouldn't catch me on any incarnation of Flava of Love, A Shot at "Love with Tia Tequila" or "The Bachelor". Sadly, I wouldn't qualify for any of my talent-based faves like "American Idol", "America's Next Top Model" and "Project Runway". Also, I'm way too prissy for the likes of "Survivor", "Fear Factor" or even that Japanese game show thing. I'm not eating any type of bug ever and will not for any amount of money willingly allow spiders or mice within a 10-foot radius of my person.

Anyone who has ever eaten my cooking knows that "Top Chef" or "Hell's Kitchen" are definitely out of the question. And the three steps I compulsively repeat on any dance floor wouldn't get me very far on "So You think You Can Dance" or "America's Best Dance Crew".

But I live for the "Amazing Race". My business partner and I often fantasize about traipsing around the world for a chance to win a million bucks. We imagine that we would be hilarious to watch as we huff, puff and bicker our way through exotic countries. We’d also like to take a shot at "The Mole". Hey, if my gynecologist can do it, why can’t I?

I'm positively addicted to well-produced shows that offer views inside of the manicured lives of celebrity families like "Run's House", "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" and, yes, even "Living Lohan". One of my new absolute favorites is "Kathy Griffin's Life on the D list". Her unapologetic, gratuitous publicity seeking is hysterical and her mother is a wine-swilling gem. My mother, the frustrated comedian and practicing psychic, is 10 times funnier and just as cute.

Perhaps the people lying - oops again, I meant- answering the U.S. Weekly survey were concerned about their children. Well, you won't meet a bigger drama queen on earth than my 10-year-old daughter who is convinced that she will be a superstar....or a scientist. She's leaning toward both, right after she wins "American Idol".

At this point, I have to come clean with the fact that I appeared on "A Dating Story" on TLC some years back through a fluke of circumstances. My daughter was 4-years-old at the time and burst into tears when it aired because she only appeared briefly in the segment. "It's all about YOU and that stupid BOY!" she screamed.

You can judge me if you want, but I think being a reality star has got to be one of the easiest gigs around. Some of them are even able to turn their 15-minutes into extended careers and even clothing lines. Omarosa, the queen of reality mean, got a book deal, people!

So, I ask you the same question. I want you to really think about it, consider your bills and your ordinary life and answer the question: Would you allow your family to appear on a reality television show? Come on, tell the truth. We won’t tell anybody.

Obama's Stolen Prayer Refreshingly Familiar

2008-07-30T13:18:00.006-05:00

I, like most people, was outraged when I first saw this Associated Press story about Sen. Barack Obama's prayer being stolen from Jerusalem's Western Prayer Wall where he placed it during a visit last week. Following tradition, Obama wrote his prayer on a small piece of paper, fold it up and jam it into one of the cracks in the stone of the sacred wall. Before Obama could even make it back to his motorcade, a scavenger who obviously has no conscience plucked the presidential candidate's note to the Almighty from its resting place and took it to a newspaper.

Stealing someone's personal message to God is wrong on every imaginable level. I mean it's downright ignorant and disrespectful to the 2,000-year-old wall, considered Judaism's holiest place. With that said, I have to admit I couldn't wait to get to the part in the video where it revealed what he had written.

Sure, I felt conflicted about my nosiness. On the one hand, I thought it was ridiculously wrong for the news media to publish the information. The other part of me - the side that is as fascinated by the man as everyone else - wanted desperately to know what Barack Obama prays for.

From the outside looking in, it appears he has everything. He's reached rock star status in an historic election that has riveted a nation. He is a bestselling author with what appears to be an extremely loving relationship with a smart and successful wife. Let's not forget the two adorable children, who are equally charming and well-adjusted despite all of the madness that now surrounds them.

What would he say? I had to know. I'm not sure what I was expecting Obama's prayer to say. Perhaps: "Please God let me be president." Or "Thank you God for making me so freakin' AWESOME!" Or maybe even: "Please God keep me away from Rev. Jesse Jackson when he is holding a pair of scissors."

In the end, Barack's prayer was really not so different from mine or, I suspect, many people across this country and the world.

"Lord - Protect my family and me," reads the note, as reported by the Maariv daily. "Forgive me my sins, and help me guard against pride and despair. Give me the wisdom to do what is right and just. And make me an instrument of your will."

We all want our families and ourselves to be safe. Most of us want our mistakes, missteps and just plain blasphemous behavior eradicated from all public, private, cosmic and spiritual records. Most of us want to do what's right -most, if not all of the time.

And the older I get the more I realize that doing things according to my will is not always so good for me or anyone around me. I'm sure others feel the same way –even if our current president doesn’t.

Random Reality: Winning An Oscar and Emmy By September Might Be Impossible

2008-07-29T13:36:00.013-05:00

What is it about ages with zeroes at the end that make us crazy? My 10 year old has been giving me hell for 6 months. Now, as I approach the end of yet another decade in my life and the beginning of another, I feel myself freaking out a little. Okay, I’m freaking out a lot.

You would too if you had less than two months to accomplish everything you dreamed you would do over the past 10 years. I’m going to be very busy until my September 17th birthday living up to my unfulfilled dreams.

First, I have to write a phenomenally groundbreaking novel that Oprah immediately declares her favorite book of all time. Then I must quickly turn it into a blockbuster screenplay that, of course, sells for undisclosed millions and stars Will Smith, a sober Shia LaBeouf, Denzel Washington, Halle Berry, Brangelina and the twins. It will also feature a 20-minute fight scene between Jet Li, Jason Statham and Matt Damon, doing a cameo as Jason Bourne.

Then I have to hurry up and win an Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay before Shonda Rhimes- my new writing partner and best buddy- produces a dramatic television series based on the movie with a cast led by Taye Diggs and that guy who played Denny that she killed off of Grey’s Anatomy. On second thought, Taye hasn't had the best of luck keeping a series afloat. I'd have to have a serious talk with Shonda about that casting decision. I'm sure we can work the kinks out just in time to win an Emmy for the show.

Now, I'm not totally naive about show business. There are a few obstacles to realizing my dreams. First, besides writing my kick-a$$ acceptance speeches and this blog, I haven't worked much on the three novels or four screenplays that I have been writing for the past 10 years. Even if I do manage to finish one of them by, say, the end of this week, it would be cutting it pretty close.

I also completely realize that it takes more than two months to sell, cast, shoot, edit, market and premiere a movie that is not a porno. In addition, I strongly suspect that the Academy or Emmy officials will be reluctant to move their events up to September just to keep me from feeling suicidal the day after my birthday - even if I ask really, really nicely.

Seriously, what have I been doing for the past 10 years? It seems like I started off with all of these big dreams and obtainable goals. But now, all I remember is an impulsive trip to the Bahamas to celebrate followed by a whole lot of working; punctuated by moments of parenting, cooking and cleaning; interspersed with occasional laughing and loving; sprinkled with a few trips to the movies and then more work; finished off with an unexpected layoff which triggered some moping, bitching and moaning tempered by bursts of optimism. Then I had a few freelance writing gigs supplemented by this blog which has all led up to now: the beginnings of a full-blown panic attack. Whew, I guess I have been busy.

So what happened? I don’t know….life, I guess. Or have I really been living? I guess I’d have to renew my subscription to “O” Magazine to figure that out.

One thing the past 10 years has given me is the wisdom to realize that I probably won’t accomplish all the things I had dreamed I would before September. So, I found myself making a new list for the upcoming decade of my life. This time I decided to keep it short.

1. Less dreaming.
2. More doing.

Random Behavior Poster Child Of The Week: The Lawnmower Assassin

2008-07-26T12:20:00.005-05:00

Meet Keith Walendowski – the new reigning king of over-reacting and proof that one should never mow while drunk.

When Walendowski’s Lawn Boy wouldn’t start Wednesday morning, the intoxicated Wisconsin man allegedly went ballistic and tried to blow it away with a shotgun. Walendowski, 56, was charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.

According to the Associated Press story he told police, "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

Apparently, randomly shooting things -even on your own property - is not so legal in most states. Who knew? If convicted, Walendowski could face up to an $11,000 fine and six years and three months in prison. Hopefully, his sentence would include some serious anger management counseling…and mandatory use of good hair conditioner.

Prime Real Estate Now Available on Front Street

2008-07-24T12:52:00.007-05:00

There is one positive side effect to the sagging economy. The precarious job market, high gas prices and dismal housing market are forcing people to abandon prime property on “Front Street.”

Front Street! You know the place where a lot of people have been living for years. It’s located at the intersection of Living-Beyond-Your-Means Avenue and Keeping-Up-With-the Jones Way. It was populated by those lost souls who spent more money on appearances than on paying bills.

They invested big dough on cloths with labels and put pennies in their 401Ks. They have fancy foreign cars parked at home in their mother’s driveways. Or they own huge homes and eat at the finest restaurants but are drowning in debt. You know the type who rent the handbags of the stars and lease flat-screen televisions to impress their friends and strangers who couldn’t care less.

Yeah, those people - the formerly proud citizens of Front Street, USA who are finally being knocked back down to reality with the rest of us. This bad economy is forcing everyone to rethink where their money is going and where it has gone.

One friend who normally throws an elaborate birthday party for her toddler is contemplating cake and ice cream at home. My bet is that the child will have just as much fun. Another friend with dismal savings put herself on an emergency shoe diet after realizing that the amount she spent on shoes last year could have fed her family for six months. I guess Manolo soup doesn’t taste so good.

I never understood the type of person who bought things – or worse – lied about their lifestyle to impress other people. However, it’s a pretty common occurrence in our community. I believe it might be a symptom of many of our people growing up without. Once we are able to afford things or at least to qualify for them on credit, we tend to go overboard.

I’m not the most responsible person with money, but all of my bonehead financial faux pas were for me. There were times in my life when I have fallen victim to excess. After getting my first decent paying job after college, I ran right out and bought a little red sports car, even though my trusty Dodge Shadow was still in great condition. My new car - that I named Sasha- cost me 150 bucks more a month and had a manual transmission. I couldn’t even drive a stick. I had to call someone to drive it home from the dealership and teach me how to drive it before I had to go to work on Monday.

I loved that car but it was stupid. Not only because I was the only one skidding around in Chicago’s winter weather like a fool in a little sports car but because paying for the car immediately made me a slave to the system. If I had banked or invested the extra cash I would be in better financial shape today.

I’d like to think that I’ve learned and that I am wiser now. My hope is that through all of the diversity brought on by the condition of today’s economy, everyone will learn. If and when the markets correct and better days come, my hope is that people won’t forget the valuable lessons being taught now.

First, no job is guaranteed. Also, save more or as much as you spend because – surprise – rainy days do come. And most important, if you can’t afford it, don’t buy it, charge it, lease it or borrow it! Those same people you are trying to impress by throwing elaborate parties or driving fancy cars up and down on Front Street won’t be there to help you when the bottom falls out.

Random Reality Overkill: Please Stop Giving This Woman Camera Time!

2008-07-22T12:46:00.007-05:00

As my mother would say, Omarosa "showed her ass" again. She appeared on The Wendy Williams' show and bombarded the host with insults while trying to promote a book she "wrote" for women about how to use their "Bitch Switch". Omarosa, whose bitch switch is perpetually stuck in the ON position, immediately flipped Wendy's switch, creating a battle of insults the likes of which are seldom witnessed on daytime T.V. outside of the Jerry Springer Show.

The altercation started when Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth first walked onto the daytime talk show and said she was displeased with Williams' introduction of her and would not be disrespected. Things got uglier when Williams grabbed Omarosa's book cover to hold it up to the camera, and Omarosa snatched it back out of Williams' hand. (source: Huffingon Post)

(view video at Fox NY site)

I am so over Omarosa's publicity seeking antics. Either she's a brilliant self-publicist or a sociopath. I suspect the latter. Either way, I can say with great certainty that there is no way that I would - or anyone else should - take advice from Omarosa on how to behave!

Holy Bitch Slap: Batman Questioned Re: Assault

2008-07-22T11:20:00.007-05:00

Say it ain't so, Batman! E Online is reporting that the caped crusader star was questioned in London this morning in connection with an alleged assault involving his mother and sister.

The incident allegedly took place in the box-office champ's Dorchester Hotel room in London on Sunday, the day before the blockbuster film's European premiere. A Metropolitan Police spokesperson tells E! News that Bale presently faces "no charges, all we are saying at the moment is that a 34-year-old male attended a central London police station this morning, by appointment, and was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault. (source)
I was one of the gazillion people who saw the movie this past weekend and actually loved it. I bought the tortured hero with an underlying violent streak thing on the big screen but even Batman wouldn't beat down his own dear old momma. (allegedly, of course) The Joker, maybe! Batman, not so much.

Maybe Christian's irritable because his blockbuster shine is being overshadowed by a dead man. The hype is warranted. Heath's portrayal of the iconic bad guy ranks up there with one of the best villains ever in my opinion.
So, Christian, just step up your game next time. It takes more than a raspy voice to generate Oscar buzz. Oh, and leave the bitch slaps to the villains.
UPDATE: Christian Bale issues statement: “Christian Bale attended a London police station today, on a voluntary basis, in order to assist with an allegation that had been made against him to the police by his mother and sister. Mr. Bale who denies the allegation, co-operated throughout, gave his account in full of the events in question, and has left the station without any charge being made against him by the police. At this time, there will be no further comment by Mr. Bale.”

Random Revelation: Pettiness Kills Friendships

2008-07-21T12:55:00.005-05:00

I was mad at a good friend on Saturday. She had the nerve to ask me to return movies I had borrowed from her so that she could enjoy them. I was mad as fire! How dare she ask for her things back?

“It wasn’t that she asked,” I huffed when my boyfriend tried to talk me off the irrational ledge. “It was that she sounded like she had an attitude – like I was never going to give them back.”

I’d show her, I thought. I decided to take her the “stupid” DVDs and not speak to her for a while. That would teach her to ask for her stuff! I went home and gathered the movies (many of which I hadn’t even bothered to watch) and drove directly to her house. My jaw tightened with each click of my heels as I marched up her walkway and rang the bell.

By the time my friend of 20-years opened the door, however, I fortunately had come to my senses. I realized that I was being an idiot - a grown woman who was acting like a child. It struck me that I had become blinded by righteous indignation to the point that I was willing to jeopardize a long-time friendship just because she asked that I return property that I had promised to return a long time ago.

Later I asked myself, why do people get mad over other people’s things? I thought about my niece who hasn’t called me in months because I refused to co-sign for a loan. I also thought about the time my boyfriend was offended when a friend refused to cut into his “kickin’ it time” to accompany him on an errand. I bet more long-term friendships end over money, property or just plain petty disputes than anything else.

It’s kind of ridiculous not to respect someone’s right to protect their belongings, their credit or even the time they set aside to chill-ax. I had every right to say no to my niece and protect my FICO score from a barely 20-something-year-old, jobless girl. My boyfriend’s buddy was under no obligation to get up from his sofa to tag along on a random errand. My movie-loving friend was well within her rights to ask for her DVDs back. She even had the right to be annoyed when they weren’t returned within a reasonable time period.

Today I’m grateful that when my friend invited me in for a drink that day, I dropped my petty attitude and said yes. Unlike most things, really great friendships are hard to come by. We talked and laughed for hours as the movies sat on a nearby counter.

Afterwards, I made a vow to myself not to borrow DVDs from her again –at least not until I could be the kind of friend mature enough to handle the responsibility.

Random Behavior Short Takes

2008-07-18T10:32:00.005-05:00

Cop Gets Jail Time For Pimping
The New York Post reported today on the case of a cop who pled guilty to pimping on the side. The NYPD detective and his madam girlfriend pimped out an underage girl.

Cop-turned-convict Wayne Taylor, 35, will be sentenced next month to 3½ years behind bars along with gal pal Zalika Brown, 29, who also took a plea deal yesterday. The two were busted in January after a 13-year-old runaway escaped from their apartment in Jamaica, Queens. The teen told cops she'd been sold to the couple for $500 by another pimp.

I know times are hard and people sometimes have to take on a second job to make ends meet. PoPos turning to pimping for extra cash isn't an indication that we might be headed toward a depression, I don't know what is.

Man Uses Fake Wife To Get Divorce
Talk about cutting out the middle man. According to Reuters, a man in Kolkuta, India wanted to divorce his wife but didn't want her to know about it. So he took a fake wife to court and got the divorce. His real wife was understandably upset when she as suddenly asked to move out of the family home. I know he was wrong but realizing how much this tactic would have saved me in attorney's fees, I can't be mad at him.

Florida Man Trades Son's Birth Name For Gas
Okay, people, I know gas is egregiously high but come on! In Orlando, Florida, David Partin pledged to name his son after local radio hosts to win a $100 gas card as part of a contest. The rdio host's name is Dixon Willoughby which isn't that bad. but think out it, that $100 worth of gas is not going to last very long. That kid will be shackled with that name for the rest of his life.

Is My Gynecologist The Mole?

2008-07-16T11:04:00.005-05:00

The fact that I have to even ask the question is so very wrong. Normally, I can be pretty objective about reality shows. I admit to watching some of them, not all, and definitely none of the trashier ones. (At least, any that I will admit.) It’s hard to be objective, however, when the person who puts me in the stirrups at least once a year is on "The Mole". That’s right. My gynecologist is Nicole, the obnoxious, conceited and conniving M.D. who has threatened to kill someone on national television! (See video)

It’s just SO not okay. Any woman knows, choosing a gynecologist is a very personal thing. I mean, this person knows your body better than any stranger should. (Notice I didn’t say does or has. I’m not judging.) They are paid to get all up in your personal business. So, you try to choose someone who you can respect and trust -the emphasis being on RESPECT.

If you’ve watched the show this season, you know that Nicole has been acting a fool. Had I not met her, I would assume she was just playing the role of the super smart but abrasive and confrontational black woman (i.e.Omarosa) that these television shows love to cast. But I don’t think that’s the case. I had considered switching GYNs before my doctor showed herself to be a potentially homicidal narcissus. I’d always felt that Dr. Nicole was a little too detached and not as committed to the care of my Va-Jay-Jay as I typically like in a gynie.

Clearly, as I suspected, she had other aspirations outside of the exam room.

To be fair, Nicole has shown some class when she's not threatening to kill people in their sleep. She definitely knows how to play the game because she's managed to make it pretty far into the season. I have strong suspicion that she is the mole though. Even if she’s not, I’m not sure I want a reality star doing my next pap smear.

Random Static: The New Yorker Cover Just Another Distraction

2008-07-14T23:23:00.009-05:00

I’ve decided not to jump on the bandwagon and post about The New Yorker cover. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of blogs covered that fiasco. Yes, the cover was extremely ridiculous, bordering on ignorant. But we all know that. The editors who decided to put it on the cover knew it too. It seems everyone's selling their soul for publicity these days.

Nope, I’m not getting sucked into that vortex because here’s what I think - not about the cover itself - but about what the cover has accomplished. That cover, just like the explosive Jeremiah Wright rant, the goofy Jesse Jackson comments, the Obama daughter interview uproar, comedian Bernie Mac's off-color jokes and Fist Bump-Gate – have merely diverted attention from everything else that we need to be focusing on.

Go to any business or financial page today. They are littered with bad news that is being ignored because of that stupid cover. From the top to the bottom of the screen on any given news website, there is nothing but doom and gloom. The stock market, housing market and, hell, even the supermarket are in the toilet. Gas prices and unemployment rates are higher than giraffe genitals. People are losing jobs and homes sometimes in the same month.

Over in Washington, Bush and his crew are up to their same old political games lifting the oil drilling ban in an attempt to distract us once again with meaningless legislation. They know darn well, even if Congress voted to do the same, no effects would be felt in American pockets until the year 2026 and those effects would be minimal at best. They are counting on us being too distracted by foolishness – oh and the birth of the Brangelina twins -to realize that.

It’s bad out here people! Too bad, in fact, to waste a lot of ink and keystrokes on a bonehead, ill-conceived cartoon. We can’t keep getting caught up in these idiotic publicity stunts that force Obama and us to focus energy on denouncing ignorant behavior every other day. Barack Obama is facing the fight of his life in this election and so are we.

Iraqi's Stimulus Package Better Than Ours

2008-07-13T20:36:00.009-05:00

Picture George W. cruising through the hood tossing C-notes from his presidential limo while desperate citizens swarm the motorcade. Now, that's what I call a stimulus package. Hey, why not? That's what Iraqi officials are doing.

In an effort to rebuild basic services and jumpstart Iraq's damaged economy, government officials are cutting out the paperwork and getting money directly into the hands of the people by literally handing out cash on the streets. According to an Associated Press report, they are using the $70 billion the country will earn this year in oil revenues.

The handouts by Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and a handful of other top officials are authorized — as long as each goes no higher than about $8,000, and the same people don't get them twice. Aides say they are meant merely to ease the pain a bit, and are motivated by a belief that better conditions will lead to more security. (source)

So, I guess we should now promptly have warm and fuzzy feelings as we fork over $5 a gallon at the pumps knowing that it is going to a good cause, right? Nice try, but no good!

I do admire their stimulus method though. It's far better than our government's method of bragging about it for months and then taking their sweet time sending out the bucks. I don’t know about you but my stimulus check has come and gone. Despite government hopes that I would run right to the mall with the guilt-laced bills clutched in my sweaty palms to buy a bunch of junk I didn’t need, I handed my windfall over to the mortgage company to guarantee myself a roof over my head for another month or so.

A few of my random friends are still rushing to their mailboxes every day and harassing the mailman in desperate anticipation of their check. Most of them have already spent the money before it even arrived. You know how you start saying, “Well, I’ll just go ahead and buy this because I have that check coming.” Before you know it, you’ve tricked off about $1,000 more than that check will ever be? Okay, maybe that’s just me. Don’t judge!

Anyway, it’s not that I didn’t appreciate my stimulus check. In fact, I’d like to formally thank George W. for throwing us a few crumbs to distract us from the thousands of lost troops and billions of dollars the oil grab - I mean - war is costing our country. Next time though, take a cue from the Iraqi Prime Minister and pass out the bread yourself.

Hey, you can always ask all of your cronies who pushed the war though or your oil buddies to help you distribute the cash. The ones that haven’t been shot in the face, that is.

Desk Rage: Research Reveals Office Smackdown Epidemic

2008-07-11T17:29:00.005-05:00

COMING SOON TO A CUBICLE NEAR YOU?

This YouTube favorite of a guy flipping out in the workplace was shockingly hilarious when it first began making the viral rounds through cyberspace. It's not so funny now that a recent study shows "Desk Rage" just like this is on the rise in offices across the country. (O.K., the video is still kinda funny. I mean, seriously, he hit the lady in the next cubicle with a computer. Who does that?)

People are literally snapping at the office. Researchers found that 2 percent to 3 percent of people surveyed admit to pushing, slapping or hitting someone at work. (source)

Nearly half of U.S. workers in America report yelling and verbal abuse on
the job, with roughly a quarter saying it has driven them to tears, research
has shown. Other research showed one-sixth of workers reported anger
at work has led to property damage, while a tenth reported physical violence
and fear their workplace might not be safe.

Desk rage doesn't discriminate. It's plaguing workers across all industry and class lines, from top white-collar jobs to gritty blue-collar work. Apparently the pressures of life, such as rising fuel, food and living costs coupled with no money to fund leisure activities that help blow off steam, are pushing people over the edge.

"People are coming to work after a long commute, sitting in traffic watching their discretionary income burn up. They're ready for a fight or just really upset," said John Challenger, head of Chicago's Challenger, Gray & Christmas workplace consultants.

Wow! I admit in my past life as a corporate drone, I did on occasion fantasize about putting a co-worker in a headlock. The fact that people are acting on their violent urges and literally pimp-slapping fellow employees is reason #205 to remain self employed.

Have you ever lost it at work? Have your urges to snap on co-workers gotten worse lately? How do you cope?

Random Rhetoric: Speaking Of Nuts...

2008-07-11T08:43:00.008-05:00

Image courtesy of Library of Congress

"He's running the last lap of a 54-year marathon. I am a part of that race." -
Rev. Jesse Jackson (source -CNN)

Sigh. That was Rev. Jesse Jackson's response regarding whether his much-publicized Obama criticism is rooted in jealousy.

Jesse, seriously, just stop saying things! No disrespect, but we all know that anytime a man threatens another man's baby-sacks there is some hate in the game and it's not a good look. Sadly, we also realize that there is absolutely no way you are going to let go of the limelight you covet now that somebody is finally paying attention to you again.

No one denies that we stand on the backs of you and all those who served on the frontlines of the struggle. Just because there have been no cameras in your face of late, doesn't mean we have forgotten about you. That said, however, you have had more than anyone's share of shine and your contributions have been acknowledged - over and over again.

I implore you to let us all get back to the business of electing our first black president and leave this foolishness behind - for the sake of the legacy of your past accomplishments and for all of our futures.

Random Revenge: More Than One Way To Make Them Pay

2008-07-10T14:04:00.008-05:00

To scorned women made headlines this week, Yankee baseballer-wife Cynthia Rodriguez and model Christie Brinkley have chosen decidedly different paths to dealing with the pain of adultery.

Brinkley struck back by putting her cheating ex's adulterous sex escapades with a teen and $3,000-a-month internet porn habit in the streets. Brinkley used YouTube, the media and the courts to blast details of Peter Cook’s freaky behavior to the world during the couple’s two-year battle to end their 10-year marriage.

Amid rumors of Alex Rodriquez’s possible affair Madonna, Cynthia Rodriguez allegedly chose another route to redemption. It ran straight through the high-end shops of Paris. The New York Daily News reported yesterday that she flexed her inner ‘material girl’ by blazing a trail through A-Rod’s bankbook and treating herself to a $100,000 shopping spree for her troubles. She denies the reports and says she still loves him.

I'm not criticizing any woman’s approaches. I personally know the toll adultery and divorce takes on the soul. It’s all about survival. Some women tell the world. Some women shop. Some women cut of genitals (not condoning this approach). To each, his own -unless it is illegal and causes bodily harm, of course.

I don't feel too bad for Cook. He came away with a $2.1 million settlement. That should pay for a lot of porn. We have to it and see how dirty A-Rod’s divorce gets. In the meantime if Cynthia did decide to go on a 100 grand shopping spree, it seems like pretty good salve for a broken heart. If it takes some pricey heels to help a sistah heal, I say go for it!

RUDE AWAKENING: Hello, Pot. I'm Kettle. Nice to meet You!

2008-07-10T07:30:00.003-05:00

As the natural born critic of all things and all people and the self-appointed blogger on bad behavior, I realized yesterday that I was falling down on the job in my own big-ole glass house.

I'm quick to give other mothers the side-eye when their child is acting a fool in public. I don’t hesitate to rant about lax parenting when I see young children walking the streets after dark when they should be in bed. It's easy to point out the shortcomings of parents. Everyone does it- even people who don't have kids.

Yesterday, however, as I watched my daughter eat her vegetables with her fingers, I realized that I hadn't been handling my business at home. My child obviously was sorely lacking in the table etiquette department and I had no one to blame but my-stone-throwing-self.

Turning the mirror on me was tough but reminded me that most of us are learning as we go and trying to be better parents. Some of us are better at it than others, but I bet no one looks at their adorably smushed-faced newborn baby and says, "I'm going to do everything I can to screw this kid up."

We start out with all of the best intentions. We have a long list of the things we absolutely won't do that our mothers, fathers, friends, co-workers and/or the parents being carted off to jail on the evening news did. We have an even longer list of all of the superhuman parent things we are going to do like reading Tolstoy to them at 3 months, banning television, video games and sweets and saving $1,000 a month for their college fund. (What? Harvard is expensive.) Then there’s the most important list – all of the things we want our child to be, see and do before, during and after they grow up.

Nowhere on my list did it say I wanted my child to eat like she has been raised by wolves. Yet there she was....fingers dripping with string bean juice.

So, I decided today that I'm going to cut myself and other parents some slack. After all, I don't have this parenting thing figured out yet and I've been at it for 10 and a half years. Hell, I'm sure my mother still has questions.

Even so, my daughter and I made an impromptu trip to the library today and checked out an etiquette book for kids. I'm going to do my best to make time to read it with her. My hope is that the time we spend together learning the proper way to break bread will go a long way toward creating the strongest mother-daughter bond EVER! I believe that’s #327 on my list.

Credit-enslaved Consumers May Get Relief from Plastic Crack

2008-07-08T13:29:00.009-05:00

Debt-challenged consumers soon may get some relief from the evil consequences of credit cards. High interest rates have brought many a shoe-loving diva to her pampered knees and kept millions in the perpetual poorhouse. So, the government is looking at ways to curtail shifty credit card practices in an attempt to ward off the same suffering created by crooked lenders who caused the mortgage crisis.

Cries from credit victims have federal regulators considering serious reforms proposed by several consumer advocacy groups. New laws may take effect next year that would stop the credit card companies for raising rates and imposing fees at will. For example, some propose extending the grace period before fees are charged and interest rates are raised from one minute after a payment is late to 30 days. One proposal would restrict marketing the plastic crack to consumers under 21. (source)

Sure, some people like my Über-responsible and forever financially-fit best friend may say that those who fall prey to the plastic temptress brought it on themselves. But few were schooled soon enough in the art of responsible spending to prevent their financial freefall into debt. They were infected with have-it-now-pay-later fever not realizing the true costs until it was too late.

Everywhere you look now there are websites, books, DVDs, talk shows and other tools to teach you to tow the line when it comes to finances. For most, however, those lessons came after the bulky balances of multiple cards already had sucked the fun out of having fabulously full closets and mean shoe game.

Being older and wiser, I now am able to resist those must-have bargains that really aren't and those once in a lifetime sales that pop up every three months. Having an extra mouth to feed and being self-employed helps control even the most intense shoe craving. After all, my daughter can't survive on shoe sandwiches.

Credit cards have gotten away with behaving badly and abusing credit-enslaved consumers long enough. They've made billions off of this ingenious and devious bank racket.

I say Hurray!!! I'm all for any new laws that will help the millions of reformed big-spenders who still are dealing with their pre-enlightenment debt. I only wish they could enact the new laws before my next AmEx bill is due.

French Fail Friendly Tourist Test

2008-07-07T21:28:00.007-05:00

French tourists topped the list when it comes to behaving badly on vacation. The French are now considered the most obnoxious tourists from European nations, according to a recent international survey of employees in 4,000 hotels in Germany, the U.K., Italy, France, Canada and the U.S. for the French travel website Expedia.fr. (source)

Apparently the poll showed French Tourists are stingy tippers, don't bother to try to speak the local languages and can be quite critical and rude. Considering that the average French employee gets about 37 vacation days year, you'd think that -and all of the wine with breakfast - would mellow them out some. I guess not.

I'm proud of my fellow Americans who scored well on the survey for trying to communicate using the local lingo, spending big and being generous tippers while abroad. Kudos to us! However, like the French, we didn't do so well in the attitude department. Our diva demands for premium customer service ranked us among "the loudest, most inclined to complain, and among the least polite" when things aren't going our way on vacation.

So when I go overseas, butcher the language, spend too much money on cheap souvenirs, over tip the pool boy and rant about bad customer service, I am just being a proud American! I wonder where overindulging in the local libations fits in.

Deadbeat Gambling Law: Sure Bet For Kids

2008-07-02T17:14:00.011-05:00

Photo by Jam Adams

Colorado's new Deadbeat Gambling Law, requiring that delinquent child support be deducted from casino winnings, is a jackpot for mom's who struggle to get 20 percent of navel lint out of their baby daddies. Scratch that - this is absolutely a victory for the kids!

Child support is always a touchy issue. Few things spark more vigorous debate in the corner barbershop then stories of a celebrity, an athlete or even the local baller being ordered to fork over huge child support payments. All you have to do is Google the details of Kimora Lee Simmons' recent settlement to see the mammoth buzz her $40,000 monthly child support check caused throughout the blogosphere.

I'm not hating on Kimora at all. I personally think making a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich at 2 a.m. on a work night is worth $5k easy. But women and men probably will be forever split on how much is enough and how much is too much to pay to adequately support a child.
In my book, however, there is no debating that Colorado definitely deserves kudos for forcing deadbeat dads to ante up for the kiddies and providing much needed relief for the non-Kimoras within its borders.

Colorado's law went active on July 1. West Virginia is expected to launch the same law in about 90 days. My hope is that more states with flourishing casinos will follow suit. After all, no "father" should be able to win big while his children lose!

Keep The Faith Despite Disturbing Death

2008-07-02T12:49:00.011-05:00

I sat dumbstruck yesterday as I watched a disturbing report yesterday chronicling the last moments of Esmin Green's. The 49-year-old New York woman died after writhing in pain on a cold psychiatric emergency room floor less than 10 feet from other patients and after both a security guard and a doctor stopped by and left.

As the truly shocking surveillance tape footage played over and over, my eyes were riveted on the other patients sitting indifferently as Esmin toppled from her chair and flailed around in obvious distress before she grew still. The other patients glanced over a few times but no one came to her aid. No one!

I shouldn’t say no one helped. About an hour after her ordeal began, a nurse did come and gently kick Esmin on the leg a few times in what appeared to be an attempt to rouse her. She was already dead.

Though I usually try to interject note of humor into my posts, there is nothing funny about this situation. I wanted to blog about it because I was surprised by my reaction. I expected to be outraged and I absolutely was. I expected to rail against the negligence of the medical facility that let a woman die so close to life-saving help and I did that for a while. Also as expected, I ranted against the people who sat idle and didn’t even move to help Esmin off the floor for a good 15 minutes.

When all my ranting petered out and I sat down to write, I couldn’t write about that side of the story. Quite unexpectedly, I was filled with a surprising feeling - hope. My hope stemmed from the realization that besides the egregiously inexcusable behavior of all involved in the Esmin Green incident, those people and that staff do not serve as an indictment of our entire human race.

Despite all of the bad news and human atrocities that we hear every day and despite the fact that the foundation of this blog is based on pointing out the ignorant behaviors of my fellow man, I know for a fact that there are millions of truly good people in this world, tens of thousands in this country, thousands in my city and hundreds right here in my neighborhood.

Call me idealistic, but I believe the good actually outnumber the bad. That any of my friends or I would not have sat there and watched Esmin die. For every person that closes their eyes and ears to someone else's suffering, there is at least one willing to help.

Now, maybe this optimistic attitude comes from working from home and watching too much Oprah. (I am a proud student of her online New Earth workshop). Maybe it’s all the feel-good reports of celebrity and community altruism that populate the media in this day of Oprah’s Big Give and Extreme Home Makeovers. (I can’t watch either of those without a giant box of Puffs.) Whatever the reason, I’m not ready to give up on us yet.

I am in no way saying that we should not speak out against what happened to Esmin Green or any of the other cases where people stand idly by and watch others in need. One of my favorite blogs, What About Our Daughters, does a fabulous job of routinely sheding light on such atrocities directed toward women.

We must continue to rant about it, blog about it, report on it, and discuss it in our barbershops, beauty shops, on our jobs, in our churches and amongst our friends until such behavior is not only unacceptable but unheard of. However, we also must keep in mind - if for no other reason than to remain sane - that for every idiot in the emergency room with Esmin that day, there are thousands who would have helped.

RUDE CELEBS: Baywatch Babe Lashes Out At Daisy Duke

2008-07-01T00:11:00.015-05:00

“I think she is a bitch and whore. Actually, I don’t know if she was talking about food or men.” Pamela Anderson speaking to an Australian radio station about Jessica Simpson. Posted from lovebscott.sharenow.com

Celebrity blogs are abuzz with news that Pamela Anderson called Jessica Simpson a "bitch and whore" because she wore a t-shirt broadcasting her love of meat. (Yes, the same Pam Anderson that had the sex tape.)

Pam, you are passionate about PETA and hate meat. We get it! But a rude, public attack on Jessica over her choice to indulge in little bovine and swine? Are you kidding me?!

Don’t get me wrong; I respect anyone who stands up for what they believe. What I can't respect are people who use their views like a baseball bat to beat everyone else over the head. Attacking others who don’t agree with you or forcing your views down their throats is ridiculously rude and not the most effective way to change minds.

Does Pam actually think that her vicious verbal assault is going to make Jessica or anyone else change their meat-loving ways? Didn't she learn anything from the Tom Cruise-Brooke Shields anti-depressant fiasco? Pam, seriously, mind your business!

I'm sure this whole beef (pun intended) is just a publicity stunt in advance of Pamela's upcoming television show. She even dug up Tommy Lee again for a little extra ink.

Attacking Jessica Simpson though? Really? Everybody knows Jessica doesn’t really know what she is eating half of the time. I mean this is the same girl who thought buffalo wings came from buffalos. Jessica’s response will be fascinating, I’m sure.

Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous?

RANDOM THEORY: Bad Customer Service Is The Root Of All Evil

2008-06-26T19:05:00.013-05:00

I have a theory about violence in America. If someone did a comprehensive study on the underlying triggers of random violence, they would find that 60 percent of people who snap and knock the hell out of strangers for no apparent reason had been victims themselves earlier that day - victims of bad customer service.

That's right! I believe that there is a direct link between bad customer service and random violence. I'm not talking about attacks against the actual cashiers, bank tellers, bill collectors, store clerks or fast food employees who are routinely rude to customers. I'm talking about the ripple effect of ill-will bad customer service can cause. It's the anti-thesis of the do-good version of "Paying It Forward."

In my opinion, bad customer service is among the most serious threats to society. So when we are addressing violence in our communities (HELL, in America), let's take a closer look at cashiers, sales people and other people who take customer service jobs but clearly hate people.

How many times have you been treated rudely by a cashier, disregarded by a salesperson or belittled by a bill collector and turned around and cursed out the very next person you encountered? One sales person with a stank attitude can have us bitching about it to our family, friends and anyone else who will listen for two or three weeks and then again at the family reunion. People who are a little less stable and have latent violent tendencies anyway take their frustration to the next level and end up on the news.

So, you ask, why are random acts of violence more prevalent in the "hood"? We always hear about gangs, guns and poverty, but criminologists always overlook one very important factor. Customer service is worse in the hood. I first noticed this phenomenon while working in the suburbs and living on the south side of Chicago. Don't take my word for it though. You can test this theory yourself.

Go to a popular fast food restaurant in the best neighborhood in your city. It's the one that the mayor sends all of the city cleanup crews to first after a holiday weekend. Let's make it interesting: use the drive-thru during the dinner rush! Note the prompt service, the friendly smile and the "Have a nice day!" you receive when you drive away in mere moments with the exact items you ordered. Go ahead and touch your food. Piping hot, right? Taste it. Let me guess - juicy meat fresh from the grill? Crispy lettuce? Thought so.

Now the next day, go to that same company's restaurant in the "hood". You know the side of town that stays on the news? To be fair, go to the drive-thru at the same time of day. Pay close attention to how many songs play on your radio while you wait in a long line of cars. When you finally reach the speaker, note the suicidal tone of the drive-thru employee. Count the number of times you have to repeat your order. Were you thanked? Check your order, is it right? Touch your food. Cold fries? Limp lettuce? Yep.

Here's the important part: Do you want to slap the crap out of somebody? Case closed!

Has Technology Made Being Rude Easier?

2008-06-25T18:38:00.007-05:00

We've all done it. Your cell phone rings and for whatever reason you look at the caller I.D. and hit IGNORE. Maybe it's a sibling who always wants to "hold" some of your money. Or your drama queen friend with the trifling boyfriend who always wants you to be her stalking accomplice. Or maybe it's that chick you gave your digits to before you realized that she was 50% crazy.

As much as the advent of mobile phones, text messaging, instant messaging and email has made it easier for us to stay in constant contact. It has also given us the freedom to avoid people at will. I may be dating myself, but I remember the days when there were no mobile phones. When your home phone rang, there was no way of knowing who was on the other line. If you didn't answer the phone, you would never know.

There was no voicemail, no answering machine, no Caller I.D and no cell phones. It's hard to imagine now. But in those days, if someone called who you didn't want to talk to, you had to find a way to politely excuse yourself from the phone. If you owed them money, you had to tell them to call back after pay day or disguise your voice and pretend you weren't home.

As with everything, however, there are pros and cons to the new freedom to avoid people that technology brings. In most cases, I don't think there's anything wrong with "getting little" when the need arises. It gives us greater control over who we associate with. No one has the right to hijack our kicking it time or suck up our minutes with B.S.

On the other hand, it's not always appropriate to blow people off - especially in business, where reputation, straight forwardness and relationship building are valued. As a business owner, I've seen it a lot. When people realize that you aren't going to let them work you like a one-legged dog for free, that same potential client who was blowing up your cell phone two days before suddenly is harder to find then Bin Laden.

It's bad business and just rude. Business 101: You just never know when you will need that person again and everyone should be considered a resource. I'd rather someone be upfront and say, "I've decided to go another way" or "Is that negotiable?" Or what is probably the truth in most cases, "I just ain't got it, Dog." It might not be the easy thing to do, but it's respectable and takes more balls than hitting IGNORE.

Bad Mother Behavior

2008-06-23T19:38:00.004-05:00

Let me start by saying I love my daughter. She’s 10 years old, funny, warm and amazing (not that I'm biased.) However, she follows me around constantly asking questions. I think her first words were in the form of a question. It drives me insane. One day last week, I found myself hiding from her in the bathroom just to get break from the questions. Within two minutes she was knocking at the door saying, “Momma, what are you doing in there?” I had reached my limit and snapped, “Please, just leave me alone for a minute. Give me some air.”

My daughter looked wounded and retreated to her room. I felt that immediate mommy guilt that we all feel when we lose our cool. That guilt that convinces us that one bad conversation can send our daughters to the nearest stripper pole and can have our sons sucking on the closest crack pipe.

The next day, I was waiting for my food at a local fast food restaurant. The cutest little boy you could ever see was desperately trying to get his very young mother’s attention to ask her a question. When she finished placing her order, the mother yanked the snot out of the little boy who was barely old enough to walk. She bent to yell in his face, “Shut up. You’re getting on my fuckin' nerves, you little bastard.” She slammed the toddler into a nearby chair and said, “Now, stay there and be still before I kick your little ass.” The little boy didn’t make a sound or move a muscle which made me think that he knew she wasn't making an idle threat.

Everyone in the small waiting area looked uncomfortable. I stood there feeling impotent. I wanted to say, “If he’s a bastard, it’s your fault.” But I knew that anything I said would have ended with me choking her around the neck in front of her son. That wouldn’t have been good for anyone.

My heart hurt for that little boy and I thought about him all day. What would he be like after being treated that way for five more years? What about 10 years? Who would he be at age 20? Would he rise above it and become a strong, wonderful young man? Or would he be like the other young men I see walking the streets aimlessly with no direction and little regard for the future? I wondered if his mother had been treated that way by her mother. Or is she just simply too young to know what being a real mother means?

Later that evening my daughter once again was getting on my nerves with a barrage of questions. I told her, “Girl, you don’t know how good you have it. Now, get out of my face.” Just kidding. I took a deep breath and counted to 10. Then counted to 20 and answered her question. After all, that’s what real mothers do.

Men Behaving Badly

2008-06-20T11:19:00.009-05:00

Its summer time and that brings out all kinds of ridiculously rude behavior. The more people are out on the streets, the more opportunities to act a damn fool – men especially. Summer only lasts about four minutes in Chicago, so I have to hurry up and address some of the most egregiously rude behavior exhibited by the male species.

Here are few tips for MEN to help them avoid being ignorant and disrespectful this summer:

1. Stop trying to ‘holla’ at women from passing cars (even worse from the bus stop.) Does this really work on anyone? If a woman responds to this ignorance, you don’t want her any.

2. Stop holding up traffic to do it. This is a double dose of ignorance. Your horny-ness should not inconvenience other drivers!

3. Realize that every female in booty shorts and belly shirts is not legal. In fact, these days most are not. There is nothing more pathetic than watching grown men harass these little hot-tail girls whose only summer jobs appear to be walking up and down busy streets half-naked looking for suckers to buy their cheap clothes. Unless you want to catch a case – criminal or VD – leave them alone.

4. Young boys - stop saying “Age doesn’t matter, baby” when you approach a grown woman with your immature foolishness. No woman with any sense is trying to be bothered with little boys who can’t even pull up their pants and who wear the same colored beads on their (yuck) braids as their seven-year-old daughter.

5. By the way, men. Stop wearing beads on braids. Not Sexy!

6. If a woman gives you the tight-lipped “Hi” with no eye contact when you approach, move along. She’s not interested!

7. Looking a woman up and down, grunting or making a lewd comment is not a compliment. It’s rude. Stop it!

8. If you do approach us, do not touch us in any way. No calculated bumps. No arm strokes. No hand grabbing. No touching! PERIOD.

9. Last but definitely not least: DO NOT TRY TO MACK US DOWN IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN! It’s so not OK!

10. The final tip is for women: Don’t respond to any of this foolishness! You make it hard for the rest of us who have some damned sense.

Ladies, did I leave anything off the list? Men, does this behavior actually work?

RUDE NEWS: Smoking Woman Acts A Fool On Plane & Faces 20 Years

2008-06-19T11:07:00.009-05:00

A New York woman (who apparently has been living under rock somewhere) got drunk on a flight to San Francisco, lit up a cigarette and punched a male flight attendant. Her shenanigans forced the pilot to make an unscheduled stop in Denver to have her carted off to jail. She's now facing 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

They should sentence her ignorant butt to an ass whipping by her fellow passengers, who were forced to smell her noxious cigarette smoke, listen to her racist tirades and be inconvenienced by the two-hour delay she caused. Just like the classic comedy movie "Airplane", everyone who was on the flight should be able to line up outside the courthouse for a chance to get a piece of that rude, ridiculous fool. I'd go old school and bring a "switch" just like my grandma used. (That's a thin, flexible tree branch with a mean ricochet effect, for you Time-Out Tots.)

What would you bring to the Ass-whipping Party?

Hell's Kitchen: Deliciously Rude

2008-06-18T06:31:00.005-05:00

RUDE REALITY: "Hell's Kitchen" is arguably the rudest show on television. Call me a hypocrite but I can't get enough of it. I'm not as fascinated with Chef Gordon Ramsey who, despite going out of his way to be abusive, actually is more funny to me than intimidating. (I've heard more menacing expletive-filled rants from my grandmother who I love dearly.) I am far more intrigued by the culinary lab rats who sign up each season to be humiliated over hot stoves on national television. I'm fascinated by the human drama that ensues when people throw their dignity and morals out of the window for a little slice of fame and a chance for a head chef job at one of Ramsey's restaurants.

I must admit I naturally was rooting for the sistah, Jen, to win. But that was weeks ago before she started shaming the sistahood by lying repeatedly and throwing everyone - even the lone brotha, Bobby - under the bus at every stop. She was sent home last night and I couldn't feel bad because any self-respecting sistah knows damn well "God don't like ugly." Plus her voice bugged me and her attitude was setting us back. I would have had more respect for her if she had followed the stereotype and cursed Chef Ramsey out whenever he called her stupid, lazy and slow. That would have seemed less slimy.

The show will probably lack most of its flavor for me now that Lying Jen and Brotha Bobby are both gone. The entire premise of the show makes me have to ask you though. Sure, we curse people out and are even ready to throw some 'bows when confronted by blatant rudeness and ignorance on the street, in the club and even at Thanksgiving dinner. How much are you willing to dish out or swallow for fast fame and a plump paycheck?

RUDE NEWS: Rude Behavior Backfires on Bitchy Bank Manager

2008-06-14T21:51:00.001-05:00

Today's RUDE NEWS made me laugh out loud. One woman's rudeness may land her in a nice, cozy jail cell. According to a report from The Daily News Transcript, excessive customer complaints led bank officials to review office manager Elizabeth Starkey's performance. They found more than a case of permanent PMS. Turns out when she wasn't being horribly rude to the credit union members, Looting Liz (as I like to call her) allegedly helped herself to more than $40,000 in bank funds. That's substantial considering she only held the job for six months. Now she's facing up to 30 years in prison followed by 5 years supervised release and a $1 million fine.

Does this show a direct link between overtly rude behavior and criminal tendencies? Or are rude people just stupid? I'm no criminal but I'd like to think that if I was going to embezzle money from my job, I would be smart enough not draw attention to myself by being a raging Bitch to customers! I wonder if Looting Liz will have trouble bonding with her new roommates in Cell Block D. Check out the full story here!

The War on Car Stereo Terrorism Rages On!

2008-06-13T17:18:00.014-05:00

Prince’s sensual love song “Adore” is one of my favorite tunes of all time. However, when I was rudely awakened before the butt-crack of dawn today, I found that the Purple One was not giving a private concert in my bedroom wearing cheek-less leather pants as it seemed. In fact, the song was being blasted from the grossly oversized stereo speakers of a passing car. Prince was followed by an equally inconsiderate procession of driver’s blasting Alicia Keyes, the newly acquitted R. Kelly, a smattering of House music and random rap songs with bone-jarring beats. I was understandably furious.

It’s not that the drivers have bad taste in music. I - who am probably the only 30-something, black woman who might listen to vintage Nat King Cole, angry Alanis Morissette and soulful Jill Scott followed by some old-school Salt-N-Pepa on any given trip to Target - am not one to judge. However unless I’m in a nightclub shaking my ass on a dance floor, I don’t want to hear anybody’s music at 3 a.m. – even classic baby-making Prince! I might be wrong but I don’t think a good night’s sleep is too much to ask when I am paying a mortgage that literally has me coughing up blood on the first of each month.

I’m truly not a hateful person, but I absolutely despise ignorant people who drive through residential neighborhoods with their car stereos on blast. It’s just plain ridiculous and rude. So tonight or I should say this morning, I made a solemn vow not to just send murderous thoughts to the offenders or rain curses down on the heads of their children and children’s children using some of the most vile language of which I am capable. I had to do something!

So I stumbled bleary-eyed to my computer to do quick-and-dirty internet research on the topic. I immediately found tons of information on the extreme hearing loss that the obnoxious sound levels cause the drivers and their passengers. I must admit feeling a small bit of petty, sadistic satisfaction. I was more interested, however, in finding out what my fellow citizens were doing about the problem.

I quickly found kindred spirits at www.lowertheboom.org. The site is dedicated to combating “boom cars” and providing support for victims of “acoustic terrorism.” It’s one of the most thorough sites I found at the forefront of the war on this particular form of terror. It has a wealth of information on the Nature of Noise including a downloadable copy of the U.S. Department of Justice Report on Car Stereos. Other resources on the site include a free, downloadable Community Awareness PowerPoint presentation that you can present to local law enforcement and your elected officials and tons of helpful links. There’s even a link to petition to Congress that you can sign sponsored by Citizens Against Audio Trespass. Just signing it made me feel better.

Another terrific site is www.noisefree.org. They focus on all types of noise pollution and have a fabulous Action Center with information on writing elected officials, sample complaint cards, downloadable flyers to distribute to neighbors, an Action Manual, success stories and more. There are various news reports, slideshows and videos addressing the problem. You can even find info on Quiet Products and buy Noise-Free.org t-shirts, bags and mugs. Check out their blog at NoiseTalk.com.

This initial research allowed me to return to my bed comforted by the knowledge that there are people out there who are fighting – and even winning - the war on these rude and inconsiderate people. I’m definitely joining the fight and will keep you posted on my plan of action and progress.

In the meantime, I’m purchasing a good pair ear plugs and encouraging my daughter to study Audiology in college. Surely, there will be an abundance of idiots with self-inflicted hearing problems to make it a lucrative career choice.

What do you think? Let me know your experiences with this particular act of random rudeness. What did you do?

Welcome to Random Rudeness and Other Unnecessary Behavior

2008-06-13T03:42:00.007-05:00

This is the inaugural post of a blog that I hope will be therapeutic for myself and others who suffer the daily injustices of rude, unnecessary and ridiculous behavior. This blog was born at 2 a.m. after blaring Rap lyrics from a car passing my bedroom window jolted me awake (Is it illegal to shoot their rear windows out with a BB Gun?). It launched less than 24 hours after I was ripped off by a heating & cooling guy ($79 just to tell me it was broken. No shit! Why else would I be walking around my condo in a thong OD'ing on cheap popsicles?) My first post comes less than six months after being abruptly laid off after putting in a full day’s work at a job to which I had given years of my life's blood, copious amounts of sweat and literal tears. (I mean seriously, couldn't they have laid me off at 8:30 a.m. so I could have made it home in time for Oprah?)

This blog is for those - like me- who are fed up with neighbors, employers, co-workers, friends, family, businesses, politicians, celebrities, humans, animals and situations exhibiting randomly rude, unnecessary and ridiculous behavior. I want to write about the things I rant about behind the steering wheel of my car, in my living room, while watching the news, and to my family and friends. My goal, however, is not just to contribute more impotent rantings and ravings to the world, but to create a discourse and a forum for sharing coping mechanisms, information and a source of enlightenment for those who may not even realize they are being rude, unnecessary and ridiculous.

My grandma always says, "If people knew better, they would do better." I think she might have stolen that phrase from Maya Angelou or Oprah, but that doesn't make it less relevant or less true. Sometimes shining light on random rudeness and ridiculousness can plant the seeds for change. At least, that's my hope. I'm tired of being frustrated by unacceptable behavior. I'm sure I'm not the only one. So, I'd like to share my experiences and any information I can find on how to deal with the people and situations we face every day. I'd also like to hear other's experiences, comments, thoughts and advice.