As the natural born critic of all things and all people and the self-appointed blogger on bad behavior, I realized yesterday that I was falling down on the job in my own big-ole glass house.
I'm quick to give other mothers the side-eye when their child is acting a fool in public. I don’t hesitate to rant about lax parenting when I see young children walking the streets after dark when they should be in bed. It's easy to point out the shortcomings of parents. Everyone does it- even people who don't have kids.
Yesterday, however, as I watched my daughter eat her vegetables with her fingers, I realized that I hadn't been handling my business at home. My child obviously was sorely lacking in the table etiquette department and I had no one to blame but my-stone-throwing-self.
Turning the mirror on me was tough but reminded me that most of us are learning as we go and trying to be better parents. Some of us are better at it than others, but I bet no one looks at their adorably smushed-faced newborn baby and says, "I'm going to do everything I can to screw this kid up."
We start out with all of the best intentions. We have a long list of the things we absolutely won't do that our mothers, fathers, friends, co-workers and/or the parents being carted off to jail on the evening news did. We have an even longer list of all of the superhuman parent things we are going to do like reading Tolstoy to them at 3 months, banning television, video games and sweets and saving $1,000 a month for their college fund. (What? Harvard is expensive.) Then there’s the most important list – all of the things we want our child to be, see and do before, during and after they grow up.
Nowhere on my list did it say I wanted my child to eat like she has been raised by wolves. Yet there she was....fingers dripping with string bean juice.
So, I decided today that I'm going to cut myself and other parents some slack. After all, I don't have this parenting thing figured out yet and I've been at it for 10 and a half years. Hell, I'm sure my mother still has questions.
Even so, my daughter and I made an impromptu trip to the library today and checked out an etiquette book for kids. I'm going to do my best to make time to read it with her. My hope is that the time we spend together learning the proper way to break bread will go a long way toward creating the strongest mother-daughter bond EVER! I believe that’s #327 on my list.
I'm quick to give other mothers the side-eye when their child is acting a fool in public. I don’t hesitate to rant about lax parenting when I see young children walking the streets after dark when they should be in bed. It's easy to point out the shortcomings of parents. Everyone does it- even people who don't have kids.
Yesterday, however, as I watched my daughter eat her vegetables with her fingers, I realized that I hadn't been handling my business at home. My child obviously was sorely lacking in the table etiquette department and I had no one to blame but my-stone-throwing-self.
Turning the mirror on me was tough but reminded me that most of us are learning as we go and trying to be better parents. Some of us are better at it than others, but I bet no one looks at their adorably smushed-faced newborn baby and says, "I'm going to do everything I can to screw this kid up."
We start out with all of the best intentions. We have a long list of the things we absolutely won't do that our mothers, fathers, friends, co-workers and/or the parents being carted off to jail on the evening news did. We have an even longer list of all of the superhuman parent things we are going to do like reading Tolstoy to them at 3 months, banning television, video games and sweets and saving $1,000 a month for their college fund. (What? Harvard is expensive.) Then there’s the most important list – all of the things we want our child to be, see and do before, during and after they grow up.
Nowhere on my list did it say I wanted my child to eat like she has been raised by wolves. Yet there she was....fingers dripping with string bean juice.
So, I decided today that I'm going to cut myself and other parents some slack. After all, I don't have this parenting thing figured out yet and I've been at it for 10 and a half years. Hell, I'm sure my mother still has questions.
Even so, my daughter and I made an impromptu trip to the library today and checked out an etiquette book for kids. I'm going to do my best to make time to read it with her. My hope is that the time we spend together learning the proper way to break bread will go a long way toward creating the strongest mother-daughter bond EVER! I believe that’s #327 on my list.
2 comments:
My son is the worse. He eats with his hands like he is a caveman. The worse thing is he eats with his hands then he likes to touch you and dirty up your clothes.
This post had me giggling all the way through. I too have a 10 yo (and 9yo) and they both do crazy things sometimes - even when I know I taught them better.
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