I was mad at a good friend on Saturday. She had the nerve to ask me to return movies I had borrowed from her so that she could enjoy them. I was mad as fire! How dare she ask for her things back?
“It wasn’t that she asked,” I huffed when my boyfriend tried to talk me off the irrational ledge. “It was that she sounded like she had an attitude – like I was never going to give them back.”
I’d show her, I thought. I decided to take her the “stupid” DVDs and not speak to her for a while. That would teach her to ask for her stuff! I went home and gathered the movies (many of which I hadn’t even bothered to watch) and drove directly to her house. My jaw tightened with each click of my heels as I marched up her walkway and rang the bell.
By the time my friend of 20-years opened the door, however, I fortunately had come to my senses. I realized that I was being an idiot - a grown woman who was acting like a child. It struck me that I had become blinded by righteous indignation to the point that I was willing to jeopardize a long-time friendship just because she asked that I return property that I had promised to return a long time ago.
Later I asked myself, why do people get mad over other people’s things? I thought about my niece who hasn’t called me in months because I refused to co-sign for a loan. I also thought about the time my boyfriend was offended when a friend refused to cut into his “kickin’ it time” to accompany him on an errand. I bet more long-term friendships end over money, property or just plain petty disputes than anything else.
It’s kind of ridiculous not to respect someone’s right to protect their belongings, their credit or even the time they set aside to chill-ax. I had every right to say no to my niece and protect my FICO score from a barely 20-something-year-old, jobless girl. My boyfriend’s buddy was under no obligation to get up from his sofa to tag along on a random errand. My movie-loving friend was well within her rights to ask for her DVDs back. She even had the right to be annoyed when they weren’t returned within a reasonable time period.
Today I’m grateful that when my friend invited me in for a drink that day, I dropped my petty attitude and said yes. Unlike most things, really great friendships are hard to come by. We talked and laughed for hours as the movies sat on a nearby counter.
Afterwards, I made a vow to myself not to borrow DVDs from her again –at least not until I could be the kind of friend mature enough to handle the responsibility.
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